surgit aliquid amari

Dead fish

2011-09-07T23:27:00.000-07:00

Thrown headfirst into the past, when i see things like 'alisheik' and 'billi-marliya' or whatever tht was. its been too long since i posted and i have my reasons. I think by now this blog will have only one reader- me, and strangely enough, i like it like tht. I have so much to say and haven't been able to say it out loud and being far away from the ppl i can talk to, makes it worse. I have never been the kind to keep a diary, well i did once, and my mom found it and went ballistic...good times. I suppose tht wud gather the same reaction this time too..tho my life was less of an open book as it is now. tsk.
The peer group have all..most of them..have decided to take tht leap and i don't know why its so difficult for me to come to terms with such a simple idea. it can't be that im too picky..ive always thought myself to be 'bendy'..like pheobe. heheh yeah i jus made a friends reference. one hailing from the above said peer group got me interested in this concept..stuck some glitter with the glue of imagination on this age old concept resulting in me thinking of gift ideas.. good i suppose, if it weren't for myself. I woke up this morning, twas like any other day, fished out a dead pet, scolded the murderer and warmed my ear following the ring of my phone. what ensued was what always ensues..nothing new..nothing playfully old either and then it happened. The glitter melted off.. not slowly like a candle would , but rather wildly, like a bit of plastic or more like hair.
And all i can do is stomp around madly in my head, coz i doubt my i could punch that far. All i see are broken sentences and bad punctuations. a question remains- Am I losing IT?

Ragdoll

2010-03-11T09:33:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking of starting another blog.
Of course, I won't announce it coz I wouldn't want to be 'followed' there.
I realized that as soon as my work gets recognized, it loses its charm.
I hate the fact that i will be questioned on each post that i write. I hate it when i have to explain the subtleties that make my mind laugh.
I'm trying hard to either fly or lie comfortably on the floor and straighten out my tangled tassels, in order to look like a disciplined mat.
This maybe the last personal post i write, the less anal-retentive writings will go on my unchristened blog.

Oh you put the thing on the fridge!

2009-12-12T10:28:00.000-08:00

I am in dire need of excitement.
Thats it.

problem is, i keep looking to get it from conversation with other people. Obviously, through experience, that clearly, is not beneficial in any way.
People come, stay for 5 mins and leave. Those being the excitement inducing ones. The other ones continue to talk, rather, chew my brains and hang on to the few remaining shreds of it.
However, such is the state i'm in where I, will welcome any sort of communication. Yes, even from the zombiefiers.
I need to find a solution. Should i concede defeat and blabber on like Miss france or should numb myself comfortably and bear it,and or should I just keel over and DIE [of boredom of course]

Incase you're wondering wht the title has to do with this post, lets jus say that tht was the most entertainin thing i heard today. [Apart from Miss Frances'answer]

butt-mornin!

2009-12-09T23:54:00.000-08:00

I'm in Delhi, if you must know. A beautiful house equipped with an eskimo-greeting German Shepherd, an aquarium with the guppies, the killers, the snail, and the to-be-gone mickey [the turtle] and yeah, before Kurt complains, Max, the glass cleaner.
The picture i'm trying to paint, is a pretty one. with the usually sofa and television, garden..yadda yadda.
So i wake up, do the usual, which includes reading the newspaper. Yeah, i actually Do read the newspaper. done w everything and i turn to htcity, and there i'm face to uh-face [?!!?] with sherlyn chopras butt http://epaper.hindustantimes.com/ArticleImageEx.aspx?article=10_12_2009_101_005_017&type=2&mode=1 sticking out in all its glory. Strangely enough, all i can think of is Karmanya Ahuja. Odd,
I think he'd approve.

Haggis

2009-12-09T23:33:00.000-08:00

I apologize,
I apologize firstly, for not posting,
I apologize, secondly for writing 'apologize' one too many times.
Now for the real apology,
Of late, and this is to myself, I've formulated a terrible habit. One that i'm ashamed of but can't stay away from. I'd like to blame it on the lack of internet. Yeah....yeah ..thts it. Why else would I put myself through the torture that is the crux of this bad habit....?
umm... spill, i must.
I'm sure a large number of ya'll know what haggis is. However delicious they* proclaim it to be. ['they', being the farmers who'd like a propagation to their name], it really is the most disgusting part of god knows what a person could imagine. believe you me, I've seen some gross looking stuff, I would share, but i fear my love life would take a beating...sigh!..
Lets just cut to the chase, the reason i'm thinking about haggis is because i've linked it mentally to my abhorous-[ I know its not a word, IT SHOULD BE] habit.

Here it is, I've started following HINDI SERIALS- bwahahahahhaha- shame upon me!!!
The likes of 'balika vadhu', uttaran, bhagyavidantawho? and the list goes on....

THERE, have ur laughs!
I HATE YOU!

muSings

2008-12-12T05:30:00.000-08:00

A few things I learned this week/month.

>Love conquers all...including an army of angry biting ants.
>Trips and tripper should be carted along on every journey. Make very good accompaniments.
>Sitting on a plastic chair with a human leg holder is better than watching sharks turn into dolphins.
>The only thing to counter nail-biting is unfortunately, nail polish- and don't tell me to put karela juice on my fingers.
>Dal loses its flavor, So does garlic bread and yeah tadpoles do turn into frogs, very ugly frogs.

Airport

2008-12-11T06:33:00.000-08:00

I arrived in Delhi about a day back, had a little time to kill at the Bombay domestic airport. Was a hugely taken aback by the beauty of the place. Never thought of Bombay as beautiful until a few months back when 'L' showed me around. Her passion for 'her place' is infectious. Anyway, didn't do much looking around,just went to a store called Balaji [just shows u can't be too far from Manipal] and bought a truckload of chocolates for Kurt.
Reached Delhi airport, and just as i hugged Kurt, two reporters from Midday came up to us and asked us about the current state of security at the airport...you know, the usual stuff they ask when something big goes down. We both answered honestly, and by honestly i mean we both said that the beefed up security is exactly what it is...BEEFED. As we were ranting on, the both of us, a security guard came up to us and demanded [crudely] to know what the reporters were asking us. Strange, I thought, almost irritatedly [if that makes any sense]. I can't help but think that all this is one big parade, where everyone one just stands around showing off their pretty feathers.
However controversial this may be, i truly feel that some of us are numbed by the things we see.
We all know what media does to us, and the people I know have heard me talk about this on numerous occasion. Let me give you an example, recently i got a news update on my phone informing me of the huge death toll [children] in China, all i did was look at it and delete it, without giving it a second thought...make that: without feeling.
It happens to all of us, if that offends you, then read it as- most of us.
While i'm at it, might as well follow the gild and make everyone happy.

2008-11-13T00:45:00.000-08:00

>The past few days have been mundane, but strangely eventful in terms of situations and people met. Like today for instance, i happened to overhear a group of people talking about how hard it is to take care of old people [i.e. your own parents usually].

The conversation went on to highlight the expense needed for their care, what surprised me however, was the way this was being discussed, 'commodity' seems like the best word to describe the person afore mentioned.

What with the hiring of people to bathe, massage and 'walk' them...

As i write this piece, i think maybe it isnt so bad, maybe i'm overreacting. This could go on to state how one should take care of their parents because they spent half their lives taking care of you, but my plea is, please treat them like humans, don't discuss how expensive it is to 'keep' them, in front of them.

For some reason, old people are assumed to have lost all senses and hence nothing you say or do is perceived by them, or so you think. Look closer and you will see the slight change in their wrinkled brow...

2008-05-27T09:55:00.000-07:00

came across this while packin to leave for home.

Soaring their hearts,
time standing still
cliched, she thought
Hope was something she had rehearsed for a while now.
Expectancy something wasted on her.
Sitting, watching the world go by
Playing her part, playing the fool
Guilt ebbs softly around her,
clutching.
She pulls away...
Yearning to explain
theories hidden behind
dusty, waiting to be pulled out at a time such as this
choking, realization hits her..
how long, she wonders,
is the wait?

2008-03-23T01:33:00.000-07:00

Article whodunnit states that i hve have the right to complain...and hence, i must

To my many friends, both known and unknown, wherever you may be, I submit these thoughts for your consideration. For practical reasons, I have to confine my discussion to areas that have received insufficient public attention or in which I have something new to say. Mr. Kurt Kessler Dias's dupes all look like Kurt, think like Kurt, act like Kurt, and prevent me from getting my work done, just like Kurt does. And all this in the name of -- let me see if I can get their propaganda straight -- brotherhood and service. I've got a beef with Mr. Kurt Kessler Dias. To get immediately to the point, Kurt's plans for the future are evil. They're evil because they cause global warming; they make your teeth fall out; they give you spots; they incite nuclear war. And I realize the difficulty that the average person has in coming to grips with that, but he says that he is clean and bright and pure inside. You know, he can lie as much as he wants but he can't change the facts. If he could, he'd surely prevent anyone from hearing that I, not being one of the many indelicate election-year also-rans of this world, respect the English language and believe in the use of words as a means of communication. Contemptible people like him, however, consider spoken communication as merely a set of noises uttered to excite emotions in the most indecent tyrants you'll ever see in order to convince them to deplete the ozone layer. Now for some parting advice: Look at the facts. Analyze the arguments. Think about the motives of the people who are telling you that going through the motions of working is the same as working. And have confidence in yourself. Remember, Mr. Kurt Kessler Dias's hagiographic adoration of colonialism is obviously sickening.. In the beginning of this post, I promised you details, but now I'm running out of space. So here's one detail to end with: Mr. Kurt Kessler Dias thinks there should be a law prohibiting people from saying any harsh or unkind things against him.

2008-03-13T23:12:00.000-07:00

Today is a very special day...but i feel horrible. Its raining...coincidence?...i think not.
I think he's right about the rain theory...I think i'm right about my theories.
I think of what to wear, the gild tell me that i should wear something special... i ask "whats the the point?"
I have 40 tickets to sell...thanks to a current mindset thats driving me insane...squeezed myself out of a play production that i had absolutely no intention of directing.... bought a t shirt from a random guy just coz i didn't want to say no..
Somethings happening, and rapidly so...sinking? not the right word...
And don't even get me started on 'words'...sometimes i wish we could just dive into sign language unquestioned...just so that it could make things easier...for me.
Selfish as that may sound....isn't that the edict we're looking for?

rain?!?!?!

2008-03-12T11:07:00.000-07:00

Im sitting here emulating the likes of a tree...yes a tree...donned in green and to top it off, i don a pair of cow printed shorts...feel all greenpeac-ie ...whats most disturbing and yet delightful is the fact is that it is raining outside.
March 12th and its raining...hmmm... much to a 'L's" consternation, the rain doesnt seem to stop....'the world is comin to an end' she says to her mom...
i could go on on an endless tirade about how the earth needs our help but i dont feel opinionated right now....im chilling here in my 'tree' attire listenin to dave matthews - lie in our graves....hmmm now the i write it i begin to realize how apt it is for this moment...
Beyond the squeals of women who are excited at the tiniest of occasions...i cant help but feel sad about certain things.
'L' bribes me with chocolate to clean the room...i do the cute act and get away with it...she knows it...she'll call me an ass once she reads this...
I know tomorrow i will wake up to a bemired water closet...mangled with the high pitched rendition of hindi songs...strangely enough...mehbooba tires none...hmmm

2008-03-01T10:40:00.000-08:00

nothing against the Americans..but thot this was FUNNIE!

2008-03-01T09:52:00.000-08:00

ഹാപ്പി ബിര്ത്ടായ്
Lame attempt at wishing a certain someone a craazy happy birthday...no kurt, it isnt you...
and yes, i do wish it was my birthday.
~sigh~

2008-02-24T10:00:00.000-08:00

OH come on, could you blame those poor gullible students now??

2008-02-24T09:54:00.000-08:00

yes yes i get it....the pic has to be rotated..but its late and im slightly moody, the caption for this was...uh...WHICH one is THE MOON!!????...followed by a maniacal laugh

2008-02-24T09:39:00.000-08:00

its been close to three months since i've posted, been thinking [since tht usually gets you out of aa sticky ques]... just got back and while walking back to the place i now reside, i began to understand a few things.
Few things being some of the situations i was faced with or rather was in view of during my younger years.
I began to understand the workings of two people trying hard to keep together, i now am beginning to scour the soft underbelly of human relationships. What i find is that it, indeed, is complicated.

2007-11-24T02:20:00.000-08:00

finally we're done with those assignments..FREE! is what we are, but i can hardly think of anything to do except run to the closest ISD booth....preferably when the electricity hasnt gone off.

I think i like the amount of pressure undergone for the past 2 weeks....

assignments over assignments...rock shows..auditions..nightouts...hmmm...

Pressure indeed!

oooh..yeah and my recent wish to conquer Manipal..tht seems to be working out fine...divuldging the plan only to one, I, Kim will rule!!

muhahahah...just be thankful you dont pay to read my endless tirades.

Boredom, as it seems, visits each person once a months and lasts for an excrutiatingly long 2-3 days...

Ode to Pi-Pi

2007-11-06T00:54:00.000-08:00

So, Mr. Kalamanch is seated next to me......pseudo retard son lies close by....and my pen...MY PEN...lies unattended somewhere on the dusty crass road between LC and MIC....

Many a day i spent with thee...
racist i dare not be,
doodles come, doodles gone....
benches warmed...tables scorned
twin tipped, thin and thick..
blackened heart, lost in brick...
tar and sand both lay waste
but u lie still..
waiting...
i walked for you...i sang for you
i grazed a knee too..
u leave me in doubt..
as i hurry about...
to look for for you, I always will...

post fs class

2007-11-03T00:52:00.000-07:00

A foreign film they played, cant remember the name....revolving around euthanasia. Hard not to be moved by it, by a topic such as tht...
Much to Samvarthas consternation, hard to talk about it, but it does leave the pit of ur stomach feeling a lil empty... or was it because i hadnt eaten anything.
So many emotions... euthanasia not one of them...this life, What a life....
Without delving too much into the past....
well, nevermind.......
tulips...red tulips...
life is good...

2007-11-02T04:03:00.000-07:00

hmmm...this isnt workin out the way i planned...
thot id sit here every lunch break and BLOG!....uh, what can i say, except...not happening..
give me some time, soon i shall come up with something to grab your attention....
had a very cheesy line in my head but lets leave tht for tht certain someone....
.....ahhh.....details...you wonder...

First day...

2007-10-23T23:39:00.000-07:00

The main reason for me joining the blogging community, is coz i have a presentation on computers this friday. Thought it'd be nice to know what im talking about for once.
Introductions later, I have WORK to do....

P.S: to those reading this on the projector...HEY!